Mother's Day

Sometimes I wake up, and wonder how I even got here. I know that 13 years ago, I was going to college, just getting used to married life and wondering what was next for me and for us....when I got pregnant with Ian. I put school on hold so that I could be a Mom. A few years later I was surprised with my special girl Chloe. I was pretty confident that I would never go back to school, because I would spend my life devoting myself to being a parent, and homeschooling both my kids. Chloe being born with Down Syndrome never really phased me. It is just a tiny part of who she is, I never wanted her to be defined by that. Then in 2006, she was diagnosed with Leukemia...now she had a whole new label attached to her. Cancer patient, and now cancer survivor. I never wanted either one of my kids to have to be tied down by labels, but somehow I think thats sort of happened. I think my kids are brilliant, I think they are interesting, full of life and love and such an amazing gift to my life. I never second guessed my decision to change my life forever in order to stay home and be with them. Lately though, I have been having this burning desire to go back to school to finish what I started. I have always joked around that I would someday go back, even if just to say I did it. Suddenly I started thinking about it not only as a "it would be nice to say I did it" but in more of a "someday I might have a career in my dream field" kind of way. The year I turned 40 was really a turning point for me. Chloe had been off treatment for a year, I went to New York and fell in love with the city all over again, I saw a show that changed me, really changed me forever, and I started to think about school again. This year, my 41st year....I decided to do it. I applied, and have been accepted into Arizona State University, doing an online Bachelors program. I realized this year that I can be both a Mother and teacher to my kids, and still be a student myself. I might be crazy. Chloes cancer has taught me that life is precious, dreaming big and believing in real Miracles is the only way we got through those 3 years. Its the only way we still get through our clinic visits, and even just the day to day fears. I think especially this Mother's Day I am so proud to be a Mom to these incredible people....and so grateful for the direction my life has taken because of them. I am also ready to show them how important it is to follow through with their dreams. Sorry for the rambling, I have just been thinking so much about this the past few days. I hope all my Mommy friends out there have an incredible day today. I honor the amazing mothers that have made me who I am today: My incredible mom Roxie, my two unbelievably strong grandmothers, Marjorie and the late great Lena Seiger, and my fiesty great grandma Krause, and Margaret Delegato my "GeeGee", the most peaceful, beautiful woman I have ever known.